It’s funny. When I think back to five years ago, we talked about adoption all the time. We were in the midst of massive amounts of paperwork, homestudies, and trying to trust God with His plan. Now that she’s here and she’s part of our family, adoption doesn’t get talked about as much, but I still think about it often. Thoughts usually come in the form of questions in my mind. Do we need to find other adoptive families? Black families? Are we talking about adoption in the right way to her? Will she want to try to find her birth-mom and siblings when she’s older? How will she do out in the real world where race plays such a strange role in lives?
Just when the questions started to get overwhelming, God dropped a friend right into my lap. She hasn’t adopted kiddos, but she was adopted as a baby. We got to swap stories last week, the good, the bad, and the unbelievable. More than anything else, I took away this nugget from her, “Tell Gracie that it’s okay to feel complicated about her adoption, that it might not always feel good and that’s okay. Tell her that she can come to you with any of those feelings.” Isn’t it just like our Father to give us what we need when we need it? I have no idea what that word, “adopted,” will feel like to this girl of ours, whether she’ll wear it as a badge of honor, or if she’ll hide it like a secret, or a mix of both. But for now, we’ll keep telling her her story and we’ll tell her that it’s okay to feel complicated about that word.