Dear Billy Ruben,
My big brother warned me about you. He said you were nothing but trouble and to stay away from you. I wish I would have listened to his advice ‘cause he was right. In large doses, you’re a real annoyance. I went outside to spend some time in the sun in hopes I’d lose you. I’ve also tried to fill my time with eating in hopes you’d just get bored and leave. Guess we’ll find out tomorrow.